This week, California’s wildfires spark a deeper dive into the state’s ongoing crisis: mismanagement, a questionable climate agenda that’s burning billions without results, and, of course, Gavin Newsom’s fire-proof hair gel.

Meanwhile, Trump is using his tiny hands to grab something new for a change. This time, he’s eyeing control of Greenland, the Panama Canal, and even Canada. Oh, and Mark Zuckerberg really wants you to think he’s got “masculine energy” — bragging about his martial arts skills on Joe Rogan, ditching Facebook’s fact-checkers, and calling for “more aggression” in our “neutered” corporate culture.

And if you were worried that Siri was snitching, you would be correct. Apple agreed to pay $95 million to settle claims that Siri secretly recorded users and shared their private chats with advertisers. In case you didn’t think this episode could get weirder, we’re also taking a detour into raccoon sanctuaries, Lego tariffs, and why male chess players can’t handle deodorant… or women.

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